What Are Emotionally Immature Parents—And How Do They Impact Us as Adults?
By Savannah Wilson, LMFT | SW Holistic Therapy
Key Takeaways:
Emotionally immature parents may appear functional but often dismiss feelings, avoid emotional depth, and center their own needs, leaving lasting emotional impacts on their children.
The effects of emotionally immature parenting can include people-pleasing, guilt around boundaries, emotional disconnection, and uncertainty in relationships.
Emotional neglect and parentification are valid forms of trauma—even if your childhood “didn’t seem that bad.”
Healing from emotionally immature parents involves naming your experience, separating your identity from survival patterns, and rebuilding self-trust.
Narrative therapy—especially in a group setting—helps reframe these experiences, making space for identity reclamation, emotional healing, and connection.
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Many adults raised by emotionally immature parents carry invisible emotional wounds, even if their upbringing seemed “normal” from the outside. These parents often avoided emotional depth, dismissed their children's feelings, or expected their children to meet their own emotional needs. As a result, their children may grow up struggling with self-trust, establishing healthy boundaries, and forming emotional connections. This kind of childhood experience is a valid form of trauma, even if it wasn’t loud or obvious. Healing begins by naming what happened—and narrative therapy offers a powerful path to reclaim your story, reconnect with yourself, and find community along the way.
Growing up, you might not have had the kind of parent who screamed, hit, or neglected you in ways that the outside world would label as “trauma.” But maybe you felt alone in your emotions, invisible when you were hurting, or like you had to take care of everyone else just to keep the peace. These experiences often point to something many people haven’t heard of: emotional immaturity in parents.
In this post, we’ll explore what emotionally immature parents are, how their behavior impacts children into adulthood, and why healing often begins by naming what happened—even if it doesn’t come with a clear-cut label.
What Does “Emotionally Immature” Mean?
Emotionally immature parents aren’t always loud or volatile. Sometimes, they’re passive, disconnected, reactive, or unable to tolerate emotional depth. They may love their children—but still be incapable of truly showing up for them in a grounded, attuned, or consistent way.
Here are a few common traits of emotionally immature parents:
They avoid emotional conversations or dismiss your feelings as dramatic, ungrateful, or inconvenient
They expect you to meet their emotional needs, instead of providing the support you needed as a child
They flip between over-involvement and withdrawal, depending on their moods
They make everything about themselves, especially in moments when you needed to be seen
They may appear functional in public but emotionally unpredictable or unavailable in private
These dynamics are described in detail in Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, which our group therapy series uses as a foundation.
How Emotional Immaturity Impacts You as an Adult
Even if your childhood looked “normal” from the outside, the emotional atmosphere in your home may have left you with invisible wounds.
Here’s how that can show up later in life:
You struggle to trust your own emotions or needs
You feel intense guilt for setting boundaries
You tend to people-please, over-function, or avoid conflict
You feel emotionally numb, disconnected, or afraid to open up
You question your sense of self—especially in relationships
This isn’t because something is wrong with you. It’s because you were shaped by a family system where emotional safety wasn’t consistently available. And your body, brain, and nervous system did what they had to do to survive.
“I Didn’t Have It That Bad—Is This Still Valid?”
Yes. Emotional neglect and parentification are real forms of trauma.
And the hardest part? They’re often invisible to others—and sometimes even to ourselves.
Many adult children of emotionally immature parents struggle with invalidating thoughts like:
“Other people had it worse.”
“My parents did their best.”
“I should be over this by now.”
These beliefs can keep you stuck in silence, guilt, or minimization. Naming what happened isn’t about blame—it’s about liberation. It’s about reclaiming your truth so that you can begin to meet the parts of you that were never fully seen or supported.
How Narrative Therapy Can Help
Narrative therapy is a therapeutic approach that helps you explore, reframe, and reclaim your personal story. It gives you space to:
Separate your identity from your survival patterns
Understand the roles you played in your family
Write new narratives about who you are and what you deserve
Rebuild emotional safety and internal trust
When done in a group setting, narrative therapy becomes even more powerful. You don’t just see your story differently—you see it mirrored in others, and you begin to heal through witnessing and being witnessed.
You’re Not Alone—And You’re Not “Too Sensitive”
If any of this resonates, you’re not broken—you’re carrying patterns that made sense in the environment you grew up in.
And you’re not alone.
That’s why we created the Narrative Therapy Group Series, starting with our first 8-week group:
Healing from Emotionally Immature Parents, based on Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
This virtual group is for adults in California ready to explore:
Childhood emotional neglect
Invisible trauma
People-pleasing and emotional repression
Identity reclamation and inner child work
Next Series Session Details: Healing from Emotionally Immature Parents Therapy Group
Location: Online via Zoom
Who can attend: Adults 21+ living in California
Length: 75-minute sessions
Schedule: Weekly on Wednesdays at 5:30 PM PST
Format: Closed group – limited to 6 participants - commit to all 6 sessions
Cost: $300 ($50/session - payment plan available)
Materials: book excerpts and journal prompts provided digitally
Ready to Begin Your Healing?
We welcome you just as you are—whether you’re certain about joining, or just curious about your next step.
(Disclaimer: I cannot address therapeutic, confidential questions via email. If you would like to ask more about the therapeutic services I provide and potentially work with me in private practice, please schedule a free 20min phone consultation using the button at the bottom of this page)
FAQ
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No. Emotionally Immature Parent Therapy Group uses concepts from the book as optional tools, but no prior reading is required. Relevant themes and prompts will be provided in groups.
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That’s completely understandable. In the Emotionally Immature Parent Therapy Group, you’re invited to show up in whatever way feels safest for you. You can listen in, reflect quietly, or contribute through the chat—there’s absolutely no pressure to speak until it feels right for you.
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Most Narrative Therapy Group Series last 6 to 8 weeks, with weekly 75-minute sessions held on a secure Zoom platform. Groups are intentionally kept small—usually around 8 members—to foster a sense of connection and safety.
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Not at all. You’re in charge of what you share. Some people open up right away, others ease in slowly. Listening and observing are just as meaningful here as speaking.
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We know things come up, and missing a session occasionally is okay. While consistent attendance helps build connection and momentum, you’re welcome to miss one if needed—we just ask that you do your best to show up regularly and stay engaged with the group.
